FullReads

“It is a most anxious thing–to be an absolute ruler,” said Duke Deodonato, “but I have made up my mind. The Doctor has convinced me (here Dr. Fusbius, Ph.D., bowed very low) that marriage is the best, noblest, wholesomest, and happiest of human conditions.”

“Your Highness will remember–” began the President of the Council.

“My lord, I have made up my mind,” said Duke Deodonato.

Thus speaking, the Duke took a large sheet of foolscap paper, and wrote rapidly for a moment or two.

“There,” he said, pushing the paper over to the President, “is the decree.”

“The decree, sir?”

“I think three weeks afford ample space,” said Duke Deodonato.

“Three weeks, sir?”

“For every man over twenty-one years of age in this Duchy to find himself a wife.”

“Your Highness,” observed Dr. Fusbius with deference, “will consider that between an abstract proposition and a practical measure–“

“There is to the logical mind no stopping-place,” interrupted Duke Deodonato.

“But, sir,” cried the President, “imagine the consternation which this–!”

“Let it be gazetted to-night,” said Duke Deodonato.

“I would venture,” said the President, “to remind your Highness that you are yourself a bachelor.”

“Laws,” said Duke Deodonato, “do not bind the Crown unless the Crown is expressly mentioned.”

“True, sir; but I humbly conceive that it would be pessimi exempli–“

“You are right; I will marry myself,” said Duke Deodonato.

“But, sir, three weeks! The hand of a princess cannot be requested and granted in–“

“Then find me somebody else,” said Deodonato; “and pray leave me. I would be alone;” and Duke Deodonato waved his hand to the door.

Outside the door the President said to the Doctor,

“I could wish, sir, that you had not convinced his Highness.”

“My lord,” rejoined the Doctor, “truth is my only preoccupation.”

“Sir,” said the President, “are you married?”

“My lord,” answered the Doctor, “I am not.”

“I thought not,” said the President, as he folded up the decree, and put it in his pocket.

It is useless to deny that Duke Deodonato’s decree caused considerable disturbance in the Duchy. In the first place, the Crown lawyers raised a puzzle of law. Did the word ‘man’ as used in the decree, include ‘woman’?

The President shook his head, and referred the question to his Highness.

“It seems immaterial,” observed the Duke. “If a man marries, a woman marries.”

“Ex vi terminorum,” assented the Doctor.

“But, sir,” said the President, “there are more women than men in the Duchy.”

Duke Deodonato threw down his pen. “This is very provoking,” said he. “Why was it allowed? I’m sure it happened before I came to the throne.”

The Doctor was about to point out that it could hardly have been guarded against, when the President (who was a better courtier) anticipated him.

“We did not foresee that your Highness, in your Highness’s wisdom, would issue this decree,” he said humbly.

“True,” said Duke Deodonato, who was a just man.

“Would your Highness vouchsafe any explanation–?”

“What are the Judges for?” asked Duke Deodonato. “There is the law–let them interpret it.”

Whereupon the Judges held that a ‘man’ was not a ‘woman’ and that although every man must marry, no woman need.

“It will make no difference,” said the President.

“None at all,” said Dr. Fusbius.

Nor, perhaps, would it, seeing that women are ever kind, and in no way by nature averse from marriage, had it not become known that Duke Deodonato himself intended to choose a wife from the ladies of his own dominions, and to choose her (according to the advice of Dr. Fusbius, who, in truth, saw little whither his counsel would in the end carry the Duke) without regard to such adventitious matters as rank or wealth, and purely for her beauty, talent, and virtue. Which resolve being proclaimed, straightway all the ladies of the Duchy, of whatsoever station, calling, age, appearance, wit, or character, conceiving each of them that she, and no other, should become the Duchess, sturdily refused all offers of marriage (although they were many of them as desperately enamored as virtuous ladies may be), and did nought else than walk, drive, ride, and display their charms in the park before the windows of the ducal palace. And thus it fell out that when a week had gone by, no man had obeyed Duke Deodonato’s decree, and they were, from sheer want of brides, like to fall into contempt of the law and under the high displeasure of the Duke.