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King Arthur’s Socks: A Comedy
by
GUENEVERE.
( hesitating )
Is it so bad, Mary, what you have done?
MARY.
Yes, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
Do you–do you want to tell me who it is?
MARY.
It’s Mr. Jones, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
( reflectively )
Jones?
( Then, astoundedly )
–Jones!
( Incredulously )
–You don’t mean–!
( Quietly )
–Do you mean Mr. Lancelot Jones?
MARY.
Yes, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
This is terrible! When did it happen?
MARY.
It–it sort of happened last night, ma’am. It was this way–
GUENEVERE.
No details, please!
MARY.
No, ma’am. I just wanted to tell you how it was.
You see, ma’am, I went to his studio–
GUENEVERE.
( unable to bear it )
Please, Mary, please!
MARY.
Yes, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
I don’t mean that I blame you. One can’t help–falling in love….
MARY.
No, you just can’t help it, can you?
GUENEVERE.
But Lancelot–Mr. Jones–should have behaved better than that….
MARY.
Should he, ma’am?
GUENEVERE.
He certainly should. I wouldn’t have believed it of him. So that is why–Mary! Do you know–? But I’m not sure that I ought to tell you. Still, I don’t see why I should protect him. Do you know that he is going away?
MARY.
No, ma’am. Is he?
GUENEVERE.
Yes. In the mo’rning. You must go to see him tonight.
No, you can’t do that….Oh, this is terrible!
MARY.
I’m glad he’s going away, Mrs. Robinson.
GUENEVERE.
Are you?
MARY.
Yes, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
Why?
MARY.
Because I’d be so ashamed every time I saw him.
GUENEVERE.
( looking at her with interest )
Really? I didn’t know people felt that way.
Perhaps it’s the right way to feel.
But I didn’t suppose anybody did. So you want him to go?
MARY.
Yes, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
And you don’t feel you’ve any claim on him?
MARY.
No, ma’am. Why should I?
GUENEVERE.
Well! I really don’t know. But one is supposed to.
Mary, you are a modern woman!
MARY.
Am I?
GUENEVERE.
One would think, after what happened–
MARY.
That’s just it, ma’am. If it had been anything else–But after what happened, I just want never to see him again. You see, ma’am, it was this way–
GUENEVERE.
( gently )
Is it necessary to tell me that, Mary? I know what happened.
MARY.
But you don’t, ma’am. That’s just it. I’ve been trying to tell you what happened, ma’am.
GUENEVERE.
Good heavens, was it so horrible! Well, go on, then.
( She nerves herself to hear the worst.)
What did happen?
MARY.
Nothing, ma’am….
GUENEVERE.
Nothing?
MARY.
That’s just it….
GUENEVERE.
But I–I don’t understand.
MARY.
You said a while ago, Mrs. Robinson, that you couldn’t help falling in love. It’s true. I tried every way to stop, but I couldn’t. So last night I–I went to his studio–