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The Sabbath Question In Sudminster
by
‘Indeed! Soundly invested, I hope?’
‘First-class. English Railway Debentures.’
‘I see. Trustee stock.’ Simeon Samuels stroked his beard. ‘And so your whole congregation works on the Sabbath. A pretty confession!’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Runs railway trains, lights engine-fires, keeps porters and signal-men toiling, and pockets the profits!’
‘Who does?’
‘You, sir, in particular, as the financial representative of the congregation. How can any Jew hold industrial shares in a heathen country without being a partner in a Sabbath business–ay, and opening on the Day of Atonement itself? And it is you who have the audacity to complain of me! I, at least, do my own dirty work, not hide myself behind stocks and shares. Good Shabbos to you, Mr. Gabbai, and kindly mind your own business in future–your locomotives and your sidings and your stinking tunnels.’
XIV
The Parnass could no longer delay the diplomatic encounter. ‘Twas vain to accuse the others of tactlessness, and shirk the exhibition of his own tact. He exhibited it most convincingly by not informing the others that he was about to put it to a trial.
Hence he refrained from improving a synagogue opportunity, but sneaked one week-day towards the shop. He lingered without, waiting to be invited within. Thus all appearance of his coming to rebuke would be removed. His mission should pop up from a casual conversation.
He peeped into the window, passed and repassed.
Simeon Samuels, aware of a fly hovering on the purlieus of his web, issued from its centre, as the Parnass turned his back on the shop and gazed musingly at the sky.
‘Looks threatening for rain, sir,’ observed Simeon Samuels, addressing the back. ‘Our waterproofs—- Bless my soul, but it surely isn’t our Parnass!’
‘Yes, I’m just strolling about. I seem to have stumbled on your establishment.’
‘Lucky for me.’
‘And a pleasure for me. I never knew you had such a nice display.’
‘Won’t you come inside, and see the stock?’
‘Thank you, I must really get back home. And besides, as you say, it is threatening for rain.’
‘I’ll lend you a waterproof, or even sell you one cheap. Come in, sir–come in. Pray honour me.’
Congratulating himself on catching the spider, the fly followed him within.
A quarter of an hour passed, in which he must buzz about the stock. It seemed vastly difficult to veer round to the Sabbath through the web of conversation the spider wove round him. Simeon Samuels’ conception of a marine-dealer’s stock startled him by its comprehensiveness, and when he was asked to admire an Indian shawl, he couldn’t help inquiring what it was doing there.
‘Well,’ explained Simeon Samuels, ‘occasionally a captain or first mate will come back to England, home, and beauty, and will have neglected to buy foreign presents for his womenkind. I then remind him of the weakness of womenkind for such trophies of their menfolks’ travel.’
‘Excellent. I won’t tell your competitors.’
‘Oh, those cattle!’ Simeon snapped his fingers. ‘If they stole my idea, they’d not be able to carry it out. It’s not easy to cajole a captain.’
‘No, you’re indeed a honeyed rascal,’ thought the Parnass.
‘I also do a brisk business in chutney,’ went on Simeon. ‘It’s a thing women are especially fond of having brought back to them from India. And yet it’s the last thing their menkind think of till I remind them of it on their return.’
‘I certainly brought back none,’ said the Parnass, smiling in spite of himself.
‘You have been in India?’
‘I have,’ replied the Parnass, with a happy inspiration, ‘and I brought back to my wife something more stimulating than chutney.’
‘Indeed?’
‘Yes, the story of the Beni-Israel, the black Jews, who, surrounded by all those millions of Hindoos, still keep their Sabbath.’
‘Ah, poor niggers. Then you’ve been half round the world.’
‘All round the world, for I went there and back by different routes. And it was most touching, wherever I went, to find everywhere a colony of Jews, and everywhere the Holy Sabbath kept sacred.’
‘But on different days, of course,’ said Simeon Samuels.