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The Man Who Would Be King
by
Take some more whisky, I said very slowly. What did you and Daniel Dravot do when the camels could go no farther because of the rough roads that led into Kafiristan?
What did which do?There was a party called Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan that was with Dravot. Shall I tell you about him?He died out there in the cold. Slap from the bridge fell old Peachy, turning and twisting in the air like a penny whirligig that you can sell to the AmirNo; they was two for three hapence, those whirligigs, or I am much mistaken and woful sore … And then these camels were no use, and Peachey said to Dravot For the Lords sake lets get out of this before our heads are chopped off, and with that they killed the camels all among the mountains, not having anything in particular to teat, but first they took off the boxes with the guns and the ammunition, till two men came along driving four mules. Dravot up and dances in front of them, singing Sell me four mules. Says the first man If you are rich enough to buy, you are rich enough to rob; but before ever he could put his hand to his knife, Dravot breaks his neck over his knee, and the other party runs away. So Carnehan loaded the mules with the rifles that was taken off the camels, and together we starts forward into those bitter cold mountaineous parts, and never a road broader than the back of your hand.
He paused for a moment, while I asked him if he could remember the nature of the country through which he had journeyed.
I am telling you as straight as I can, but my head isnt as good as it might be. They drove nails through it to make me hear better how Dravot died. The country was mountaineous and the mules were most contrary, and the inhabitants was dispersed and solitary. They went up and up, and down and down, and that other party, Carnehan, was imploring of Dravot not to sing and whistle so loud, for fear of bringing down the tremenjus avalanches. But Dravot says that if a King couldnt sing it wasnt worth being King, and whacked the mules over the rump, and never took no heed for ten cold days. We came to a big level valley all among the mountains, and the mules were near dead, so we killed them, not having anything in special for them or us to eat. We sat upon the boxes, and played odd and even with the cartridges that was jolted out.
Then ten men with bows and arrows ran down that valley, chasing twenty men with bows and arrows, and the row was tremenjus. They was fair menfairer than you or mewith yellow hair and remarkable well built. Says Dravot, unpacking the guns This is the beginning of the business. Well fight for the ten men, and with that he first two rifles at the twenty men, and drops one of them at two hundred yards from the rock where he was sitting. The other men began to run, but Carnehan and Dravot sits on the boxes picking them off at all ranges, up and down the valley. Then we goes up to the ten men that had run across the snow too,
and they fires a footy little arrow at us. Dravot he shoots above their heads and they all falls down flat. Then he walks over them and kicks them, and then he lifts them up and shakes hands all round to make them friendly like. He calls them and gives them the boxes to carry, and waves his hand for all the world as though he was King already. They takes the boxes and him across the valley and up the hill into a pine wood on the top, where there was half-a-dozen big stone idols. Dravot he goes to the biggesta fellow they call Imbraand lays a rifle and a cartridge at his feet, rubbing his nose respectful with his own nose, patting him on the head, and saluting in front of it. He turns round to the men and nods his head, and says Thats all right. Im in the know too, and all these old jim-jams are my friends. Then he opens his mouth and points down it, and when the first man brings him food, he says No; and when the second man brings him food, he says No; but when one of the old priests and the boss of the village brings him food, he says Yes, very haughty, and eats it slow. That was how we came to our first village, without any trouble, just as though we had tumbled from the skies. But we tumbled from one of those damned rope-bridges, you see, andyou couldnt expect a man to laugh much after that?