FullReads

By and by a farmer came along the road by the river with a team of horses drawing a load of hay, and the horses looked so odd to the Man in the Moon that at first he was greatly frightened, never before having seen horses except from his home in the moon, from whence they looked a good deal smaller. But he plucked up courage and said to the farmer,

“Can you tell me the way to Norwich, sir?”

“Norwich?” repeated the farmer musingly; “I do n’t know exactly where it be, sir, but it ‘s somewhere away to the south.”

“Thank you,” said the Man in the Moon.–But stop! I must not call him the Man in the Moon any longer, for of course he was now out of the moon; so I ‘ll simply call him the Man, and you ‘ll know by that which man I mean.

Well, the Man in the–I mean the Man (but I nearly forgot what I have just said)–the Man turned to the south and began walking briskly along the road, for he had made up his mind to do as the alderman had advised and travel to Norwich, that he might eat some of the famous pease porridge that was made there. And finally, after a long and tiresome journey, he reached the town and stopped at one of the first houses he came to, for by this time he was very hungry indeed.

A good-looking woman answered his knock at the door, and he asked politely,

“Is this the town of Norwich, madam?”

“Surely this is the town of Norwich,” returned the woman.

“I came here to see if I could get some pease porridge,” continued the Man, “for I hear you make I the nicest porridge in the world in this town.”

“That we do, sir,” answered the woman, “and if you ‘ll step inside I ‘ll give you a bowl, for I have plenty in the house that is newly made.”

So he thanked her and entered the house, and she asked,

“Will you have it hot or cold, sir?”

“Oh, cold, by all means,” replied the Man, “for I detest anything hot to eat.”

She soon brought him a bowl of cold pease porridge, and the Man was so hungry that he took a big spoonful at once.

But no sooner had he put it into his mouth than he uttered a great yell, and began dancing frantically about the room, for of course the porridge that was cold to earth folk was hot to him, and the big spoonful of cold pease porridge had burned his mouth to a blister!

“What ‘s the matter?” asked the woman.

“Matter!” screamed the Man; “why, your porridge is so hot it has burned me.”

“Fiddlesticks!” she replied, “the porridge is quite cold.”

“Try it yourself!” he cried. So she tried it and found it very cold and pleasant. But the Man was so astonished to see her eat the porridge that had blistered his own mouth that he became frightened and ran out of the house and down the street as fast as he could go.

The policeman on the first corner saw him running, and promptly arrested him, and he was marched off to the magistrate for trial.

“What is your name?” asked the magistrate.

“I have n’t any,” replied the Man; for of course as he was the only Man in the Moon it was n’t necessary he should have a name.

“Come, come, no nonsense!” said the magistrate, “you must have some name. Who are you?”

“Why, I ‘m the Man in the Moon.”

“That ‘s rubbish!” said the magistrate, eyeing the prisoner severely, “you may be a man, but you ‘re not in the moon-you ‘re in Norwich.”

“That is true,” answered the Man, who was quite bewildered by this idea.

“And of course you must be called something,” continued the magistrate.

“Well, then,” said the prisoner, “if I ‘m not the Man in the Moon I must be the Man out of the Moon; so call me that.”