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PAGE 2

The Luftmensch
by [?]

‘Your obedient Servant respectfully,
‘NEHEMIAH SILVERMANN,
‘Dentist and Restaurateur.’

This letter threw a new but not reassuring light upon the situation. Instead of being a victim of the Russian troubles, a recent refugee from massacre and robbery, Nehemiah had already existed in London for ten years, and although he might originally have been ruined by Russia, he had survived his ruin by a decade. His ideas of his future seemed as hazy as his past. Four pounds would be a very present help; he could continue his London career. With fifteen pounds he was ready to start off anywhither. With thirty pounds he would end all his troubles in Jerusalem. Such nebulousness appeared to necessitate a personal visit, and the next day, finding himself in bad form, Barstein angrily bashed in a clay visage, clapped on his hat, and repaired to the Minories. But he looked in vain for either a dentist or a restaurant at No. 3A. It appeared a humble corner residence, trying to edge itself into the important street. At last, after wandering uncertainly up and down, he knocked at the shabby door. A frowsy woman with long earrings opened it staring, and said that the Silvermanns occupied two rooms on her second floor.

‘What!’ cried Barstein. ‘Is he married?’

‘I should hope so,’ replied the landlady severely. ‘He has eleven children at least.’

Barstein mounted the narrow carpetless stairs, and was received by Mrs. Silvermann and her brood with much consternation and ceremony. The family filled the whole front room and overflowed into the back, which appeared to be a sort of kitchen, for Mrs. Silvermann had rushed thence with tucked-up sleeves, and sounds of frying still proceeded from it. But Mr. Silvermann was not at home, the small, faded, bewigged creature told him apologetically. Barstein looked curiously round the room, half expecting indications of dentistry or dining. But he saw only a minimum of broken-down furniture, bottomless cane chairs, a wooden table and a cracked mirror, a hanging shelf heaped with ragged books, and a standing cupboard which obviously turned into a bedstead at night for half the family. But of a dentist’s chair there was not even the ruins. His eyes wandered over the broken-backed books–some were indeed ‘dictionaries in distress.’ He noted a Russo-German and a German-English. Then the sounds of frying penetrated more keenly to his brain.

‘You are the cook of the restaurant?’ he inquired.

‘Restaurant!’ echoed the woman resentfully. ‘Have I not enough cooking to do for my own family? And where shall I find money to keep a restaurant?’

‘Your husband said—-‘ murmured Barstein, as in guilty confusion.

A squalling from the overflow offspring in the kitchen drew off the mother for a moment, leaving him surrounded by an open-eyed juvenile mob. From the rear he heard smacks, loud whispers and whimperings. Then the poor woman reappeared, bearing what seemed a scrubbing-board. She placed it over one of the caneless chairs, and begged his Excellency to be seated. It was a half holiday at the school, she complained, otherwise her family would be less numerous.

‘Where does your husband do his dentistry?’ Barstein inquired, seating himself cautiously upon the board.

‘Do I know?’ said his wife. ‘He goes out, he comes in.’ At this moment, to Barstein’s great satisfaction, he did come in.

‘Holy angel!’ he cried, rushing at the hem of Barstein’s coat, and kissing it reverently. He was a gaunt, melancholy figure, elongated to over six feet, and still further exaggerated by a rusty top-hat of the tallest possible chimneypot, and a threadbare frockcoat of the longest possible tails. At his advent his wife, vastly relieved, shepherded her flock into the kitchen and closed the door, leaving Barstein alone with the long man, who seemed, as he stood gazing at his visitor, positively soaring heavenwards with rapture.

But Barstein inquired brutally: ‘Where do you do your dentistry?’

‘Never mind me,’ replied Nehemiah ecstatically. ‘Let me look on you!’ And a more passionate worship came into his tranced gaze.