PAGE 14
The Bridal March
by
Then Hans took his gun and said good-bye, whispering to Mildrid: “You may be sure I’ll come soon again!”
The girls walked with him as far as the soeter, and watched him, as Mildrid had done yesterday, striding away over the heather in the sunlight. They stood as long as they could see him; Mildrid, who was leaning on Inga, would not let her go; Inga felt that she did not want her to move or speak. From time to time one or the other whispered: “He’s looking back!” When he was out of sight Mildrid turned round to Inga and said: “Don’t ask me anything. I can’t tell you about it!” She held her tight for a second, and then they walked towards the soeter-house. Mildrid remembered now how she had left all her work undone. Inga helped her with it. They spoke very little, and only about the work. Just once Mildrid stopped, and whispered: “Isn’t he handsome?”
She set out some dinner, but could eat little herself, though she felt the need both of food and sleep. Inga left as soon as she could, for she saw that Mildrid would rather be alone. Then Mildrid lay down on her bed. She was lying, half asleep already, thinking over the events of the morning, and trying to remember the nicest things that Hans had said, when it suddenly occurred to her to ask herself what she had answered. Then it flashed upon her that during their whole meeting she had not spoken, not said a single word!
She sat up in bed and said to herself: “He could not have gone far till this must have struck him too–and what can he have thought? He must take me for a creature without a will, going about in a dream. How can he go on caring for me? Yesterday it was not till he had gone away from me that he found out he cared for me at all–what will he find out to-day?” she asked herself with a shiver of dread. She got up, went out, and sat down where she had sat so long yesterday.
All her life Mildrid had been accustomed to take herself to account for her behaviour; circumstances had obliged her to walk carefully. Now, thinking over what had happened these last two days, it struck her forcibly that she had behaved without tact, without thought, almost without modesty. She had never read or heard about anything happening like this; she looked at it from the peasant’s point of view, and none take these matters more strictly than they. It is seemly to control one’s feelings–it is honourable to be slow to show them. She, who had done this all her life, and consequently been respected by every one, had in one day given herself to a man she had never seen before! Why, he himself must be the first to despise her! It showed how bad things were, that she dared not tell what had happened, not even to Inga!
With the first sound of the cow-bells in the distance came Beret, to find her sister sitting on the bench in front of the soeter-house, looking half dead. Beret stood in front of her till she was forced to raise her head and look at her. Mildrid’s eyes were red with crying, and her whole expression was one of suffering. But it changed to surprise when she saw Beret’s face, which was scarlet with excitement.
“Whatever is the matter with you?” she exclaimed.
“Nothing!” answered Beret, standing staring fixedly at Mildrid, who at last looked away, and got up to go and attend to the cows.
The sisters did not meet again till supper, when they sat opposite to each other. Mildrid was not able to eat more then a few mouthfuls. She sat and looked absently at the others, oftenest at Beret, who ate on steadily, gulping down her food like a hungry dog.