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“I know what ’tis you shun: ’tis not ill fame:
But Hector’s near, it is not safe to beard him.”

Thus by frightening the high-spirited and courageous man by the imputation of cowardice, and the sober and orderly man by that of licentiousness, and the liberal and munificent man by that of meanness and avarice, people urge them on to what is good, and deter them from what is bad, showing moderation in cases past remedy, and exhibiting in their freedom of speech more sorrow and sympathy than fault-finding; but in the prevention of wrong-doing and in earnest fighting against the passions they are vehement and inexorable and assiduous: for that is the time for downright plainness and truth. Besides we see that enemies censure one another for what they have done amiss, as Diogenes said,[495] he who wished to lead a good life ought to have good friends or red-hot enemies, for the former told you what was right, and the latter blamed you if you did what was wrong. But it is better to be on our guard against wrong actions, through listening to the persuasion of those that advise us well, than to repent, after we have done wrong, in consequence of the reproaches of our enemies. And so we ought to employ tact in our freedom of speech, as it is the greatest and most powerful remedy in friendship, and always needs a well-chosen occasion, and moderation in applying it.

Sec. XXXVII. Since then, as I have said before, freedom of speech is often painful to the person who is to receive benefit from it, we must imitate the surgeons, who, when they have performed an operation, do not leave the suffering part to pain and smart, but bathe and foment it; so those who do their rebuking daintily run[496] off after paining and smarting, and by different dealing and kind words soothe and mollify them, as statuaries smooth and polish images which have been broken or chipped. But he that is broken and wounded by rebuke, if he is left sullen and swelling with rage and off his equilibrium, is henceforth hard to win back or talk over. And so people who reprove ought to be especially careful on this point, and not to leave them too soon, nor break off their conversation and intercourse with their acquaintances at the exasperating and painful stage.

Footnotes:

[348] Plato, “Laws,” v. p. 731 D, E.

[349] “Laws,” v. p. 730 C.

[350] Inscribed in the vestibule of the temple of Apollo at Delphi. See Pausanias, x. 24.

[351] Used here apparently proverbially for poverty or low position in life.

[352] Wyttenbach well compares Cicero, “De Amicitia,” xviii.: “Accedat huc suavitas quaedam oportet sermonum atque morum, haudquaquam mediocre condimentum amicitiae. Tristitia autem et in omni re severitas, habet illa quidem gravitatem: sed amicitia remissior esse debet, et liberior, et dulcior, et ad omnem comitatem facilitatemque proclivior.”

[353] Hesiod, “Theogony,” 64.

[354] Euripides, “Ion,” 732.

[355] Our author assigns this saying to Prodicus, “De Sanitate Praecepta,” Sec. viii. But to Evenus, “Quaest. Conviv.” Lib. vii. Prooemium, and “Platonicae Quaestiones,” x. Sec. iii.

[356] As was usual. See Homer, “Odyssey,” i. 146. Cf. Plautus, “Persa,” v. iii. 16: “Hoc age, accumbe: hunc diem suavem meum natalem agitemus amoenum: date aquam manibus: apponite mensam.”

[357] From a play of Eupolis called “The Flatterers.” Cf. Terence, “Eunuchus,” 489-491.

[358] See Athenaeus, 256 D. Compare also Valerius Maximus, ix. 1.

[359] “Videatur Casaubonus ad Athenaeum, vi. p. 243 A.”– Wyttenbach.

[360] “Republic,” p. 361 A.

[361] See Herodotus, iii. 78.

[362] See Erasmus, “Adagia,” p. 1883.

[363] “Proverbium etiam a Cicerone laudatum ‘De Amicitia,’ cap. vi.: Itaque non aqua, non igne, ut aiunt, pluribus locis utimur, quam amicitia. Notavit etiam Erasmus ‘Adag.’ p. 112.”– Wyttenbach.

[364] Compare Sallust, “De Catilinae Conjuratione,” cap. xx.: “Nam idem velle atque idem nolle, ea demum firma amicitia est.”

[365] “Proverbiale, quo utitur Plutarchus in Alcibiade, p. 203 D. Iambus Tragici esse videtur, ad Neoptolemum dictus.”– Wyttenbach.