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104 Works of William Makepeace Thackeray

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To Mary

Story type: Poetry

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I seem, in the midst of the crowd, The lightest of all; My laughter rings cheery and loud, In banquet and ball. My lip hath its smiles and its sneers, For all men to see; But my soul, and my truth, and my tears, Are for thee, are for thee! Around me they flatter and […]

The Chaplet

Story type: Poetry

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FROM UHLAND. “Da liegen sie alle, die grauen Hohen.” The cold gray hills they bind me around, The darksome valleys lie sleeping below, But the winds as they pass o’er all this ground, Bring me never a sound of woe! Oh! for all I have suffered and striven, Care has embittered my cup and my […]

King Canute

Story type: Poetry

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KING CANUTE was weary hearted; he had reigned for years a score, Battling, struggling, pushing, fighting, killing much and robbing more; And he thought upon his actions, walking by the wild sea-shore. ‘Twixt the Chancellor and Bishop walked the King with steps sedate, Chamberlains and grooms came after, silversticks and goldsticks great, Chaplains, aides-de-camp, and […]

How spake of old the Royal Seer? (His text is one I love to treat on.) This life of ours he said is sheer Mataiotes Mataioteton. O Student of this gilded Book, Declare, while musing on its pages, If truer words were ever spoke By ancient, or by modern sages! The various authors’ names but […]

Little Billee

Story type: Poetry

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Little Billee.* Air–“Il y avait un petit navire.” There were three sailors of Bristol city Who took a boat and went to sea. But first with beef and captain’s biscuits And pickled pork they loaded she. There was gorging Jack and guzzling Jimmy, And the youngest he was little Billee. Now when they got as […]

“WESTMINSTER POLICE COURT.–Policeman X brought a paper of doggerel verses to the MAGISTRATE, which had been thrust into his hands, X said, by an Italian boy, who ran away immediately afterwards. “The MAGISTRATE, after perusing the lines, looked hard at X, and said he did not think they were written by an Italian. “X, blushing, […]

(BY A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN ON THE SPOT.) Come all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear, ‘Tis about a base consperracy, as quickly shall appear; ‘Twill make your hair to bristle up, and your eyes to start and glow, When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know. The news of […]

A NEW PALLICE COURT CHANT. One sees in Viteall Yard, Vere pleacemen do resort, A wenerable hinstitute, ‘Tis call’d the Pallis Court. A gent as got his i on it, I think ’twill make some sport. The natur of this Court My hindignation riles: A few fat legal spiders Here set & spin their viles; […]

There’s in the Vest a city pleasant To vich King Bladud gev his name, And in that city there’s a Crescent Vere dwelt a noble knight of fame. Although that galliant knight is oldish, Although Sir John as gray, gray air, Hage has not made his busum coldish, His Art still beats tewodds the Fair! […]

My name is Pleaceman X; Last night I was in bed, A dream did me perplex, Which came into my Edd. I dreamed I sor three Waits A playing of their tune, At Pimlico Palace gates, All underneath the moon. One puffed a hold French horn, And one a hold Banjo, And one chap seedy […]

An igstrawnary tail I vill tell you this veek– I stood in the Court of A’Beckett the Beak, Vere Mrs. Jane Roney, a vidow, I see, Who charged Mary Brown with a robbin of she. This Mary was pore and in misery once, And she came to Mrs. Roney it’s more than twelve monce. She […]

On reading of the general indignation occasioned in Ireland by the appointment of a Scotch Professor to one of HER MAJESTY’S Godless colleges, MASTER MOLLOY MOLONY, brother of THADDEUS MOLONY, Esq., of the Temple, a youth only fifteen years of age, dashed off the following spirited lines:– As I think of the insult that’s done […]

The Rose Of Flora

Story type: Poetry

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Sent by a Young Gentleman of Quality to Miss Br-dy, of Castle Brady. On Brady’s tower there grows a flower, It is the loveliest flower that blows,– At Castle Brady there lives a lady, (And how I love her no one knows); Her name is Nora, and the goddess Flora Presents her with this blooming […]

Ye Genii of the nation, Who look with veneration. And Ireland’s desolation onsaysingly deplore; Ye sons of General Jackson, Who thrample on the Saxon, Attend to the thransaction upon Shannon shore, When William, Duke of Schumbug, A tyrant and a humbug, With cannon and with thunder on our city bore, Our fortitude and valiance Insthructed […]

Larry O’toole

Story type: Poetry

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You’ve all heard of Larry O’Toole, Of the beautiful town of Drumgoole; He had but one eye, To ogle ye by– Oh, murther, but that was a jew’l! A fool He made of de girls, dis O’Toole. ‘Twas he was the boy didn’t fail, That tuck down pataties and mail; He never would shrink From […]

MR. MOLONY’S ACCOUNT OF THE BALL GIVEN TO THE NEPAULESE AMBASSADOR BY THE PENINSULAR AND ORIENTAL COMPANY. O will ye choose to hear the news, Bedad I cannot pass it o’er: I’ll tell you all about the Ball To the Naypaulase Ambassador. Begor! this fete all balls does bate At which I’ve worn a pump, […]

Ye pathrons of janius, Minerva and Vanius, Who sit on Parnassus, that mountain of snow, Descind from your station and make observation Of the Prince’s pavilion in sweet Pimlico. This garden, by jakurs, is forty poor acres, (The garner he tould me, and sure ought to know;) And yet greatly bigger, in size and in […]

O TIM, did you hear of thim Saxons, And read what the peepers report? They’re goan to recal the Liftinant, And shut up the Castle and Coort! Our desolate counthry of Oireland, They’re bint, the blagyards, to desthroy, And now having murdthered our counthry, They’re goin to kill the Viceroy, Dear boy; ‘Twas he was […]

The Willow-Tree

Story type: Poetry

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Know ye the willow-tree Whose gray leaves quiver, Whispering gloomily To yon pale river; Lady, at even-tide Wander not near it, They say its branches hide A sad, lost spirit? Once to the willow-tree A maid came fearful, Pale seemed her cheek to be, Her blue eye tearful; Soon as she saw the tree, Her […]

I. Long by the willow-trees Vainly they sought her, Wild rang the mother’s screams O’er the gray water: “Where is my lovely one? Where is my daughter? II. “Rouse thee, sir constable– Rouse thee and look; Fisherman, bring your net, Boatman your hook. Beat in the lily-beds, Dive in the brook!” III. Vainly the constable […]

LILLE, Sept. 2, 1843. My heart is weary, my peace is gone, How shall I e’er my woes reveal? I have no money, I lie in pawn, A stranger in the town of Lille. I. With twenty pounds but three weeks since From Paris forth did Titmarsh wheel, I thought myself as rich a prince […]

AN EPIC POEM, IN TWENTY BOOKS. I. [The Poet describes the city and spelling of Kiow, Kioff, or Kiova.] A thousand years ago, or more, A city filled with burghers stout, And girt with ramparts round about, Stood on the rocky Dnieper shore. In armor bright, by day and night, The sentries they paced to […]

BY THE LORD SOUTHDOWN. The castle towers of Bareacres are fair upon the lea, Where the cliffs of bonny Diddlesex rise up from out the sea: I stood upon the donjon keep and view’d the country o’er, I saw the lands of Bareacres for fifty miles or more. I stood upon the donjon keep–it is […]

Requiescat

Story type: Poetry

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Under the stone you behold, Buried, and coffined, and cold, Lieth Sir Wilfrid the Bold. Always he marched in advance, Warring in Flanders and France, Doughty with sword and with lance. Famous in Saracen fight, Rode in his youth the good knight, Scattering Paynims in flight. Brian the Templar untrue, Fairly in tourney he slew, […]

Atra Cura

Story type: Poetry

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Before I lost my five poor wits, I mind me of a Romish clerk, Who sang how Care, the phantom dark, Beside the belted horseman sits. Methought I saw the grisly sprite Jump up but now behind my Knight. And though he gallop as he may, I mark that cursed monster black Still sits behind […]

Friar’s Song

Story type: Poetry

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Some love the matin-chimes, which tell The hour of prayer to sinner: But better far’s the mid-day bell, Which speaks the hour of dinner; For when I see a smoking fish, Or capon drown’d in gravy, Or noble haunch on silver dish, Full glad I sing my ave. My pulpit is an alehouse bench, Whereon […]

When moonlike ore the hazure seas In soft effulgence swells, When silver jews and balmy breaze Bend down the Lily’s bells; When calm and deap, the rosy sleep Has lapt your soal in dreems, R Hangeline! R lady mine! Dost thou remember Jeames? I mark thee in the Marble All, Where England’s loveliest shine– I […]

Dear Jack

Story type: Poetry

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Dear Jack, this white mug that with Guinness I fill, And drink to the health of sweet Nan of the Hill, Was once Tommy Tosspot’s, as jovial a sot As e’er drew a spigot, or drain’d a full pot– In drinking all round ’twas his joy to surpass, And with all merry tipplers he swigg’d […]

The Pope he is a happy man, His Palace is the Vatican, And there he sits and drains his can: The Pope he is a happy man. I often say when I’m at home, I’d like to be the Pope of Rome. And then there’s Sultan Saladin, That Turkish Soldan full of sin; He has […]

When the moonlight’s on the mountain And the gloom is on the glen, At the cross beside the fountain There is one will meet thee then. At the cross beside the fountain; Yes, the cross beside the fountain, There is one will meet thee then! I have braved, since first we met, love, Many a […]

The Red Flag

Story type: Poetry

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Where the quivering lightning flings His arrows from out the clouds, And the howling tempest sings And whistles among the shrouds, ‘Tis pleasant, ’tis pleasant to ride Along the foaming brine– Wilt be the Rover’s bride? Wilt follow him, lady mine? Hurrah! For the bonny, bonny brine. Amidst the storm and rack, You shall see […]

Your Fanny was never false-hearted, And this she protests and she vows, From the triste moment when we parted On the staircase of Devonshire House! I blushed when you asked me to marry, I vowed I would never forget; And at parting I gave my dear Harry A beautiful vinegarette! We spent en province all […]

* Untrue to my Ulric I never could be, I vow by the saints and the blessed Marie, Since the desolate hour when we stood by the shore, And your dark galley waited to carry you o’er: My faith then I plighted, my love I confess’d, As I gave you the BATTLE-AXE marked with your […]

Persicos odi Puer, apparatus; Displicent nexae Philyra coronae: Mitte sectari, Rosa qua locorum Sera moretur. Simplici myrto Nihil allabores Sedulus, curo: Neque te ministrum Dedecet myrtus, Neque me sub arcta Vite bibentem.

Ad Ministram

Story type: Poetry

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Dear LUCY, you know what my wish is,– I hate all your Frenchified fuss: Your silly entrees and made dishes Were never intended for us. No footman in lace and in ruffles Need dangle behind my arm-chair; And never mind seeking for truffles, Although they be ever so rare. But a plain leg of mutton, […]

Jolly Jack

Story type: Poetry

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When fierce political debate Throughout the isle was storming, And Rads attacked the throne and state, And Tories the reforming, To calm the furious rage of each, And right the land demented, Heaven sent us Jolly Jack, to teach The way to be contented. Jack’s bed was straw, ’twas warm and soft, His chair, a […]

Roger-Bontemps

Story type: Poetry

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Aux gens atrabilaires Pour exemple donne, En un temps de miseres Roger-Bontemps est ne. Vivre obscur a sa guise, Narguer les mecontens; Eh gai! c’est la devise Du gros Roger-Bontemps. Du chapeau de son pere Coiffe dans les grands jours, De roses ou de lierre Le rajeunir toujours; Mettre un manteau de bure, Vieil ami […]

Le Grenier

Story type: Poetry

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Je viens revoir l’asile ou ma jeunesse De la misere a subi les lecons. J’avais vingt ans, une folle maitresse, De francs amis et l’amour des chansons. Bravant le monde et les sots et les sages, Sans avenir, riche de mon printemps, Leste et joyeux je montais six etages, Dans un grenier qu’on est bien […]

The Garret

Story type: Poetry

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With pensive eyes the little room I view, Where, in my youth, I weathered it so long; With a wild mistress, a stanch friend or two, And a light heart still breaking into song: Making a mock of life, and all its cares, Rich in the glory of my rising sun, Lightly I vaulted up […]

ANOTHER VERSION. There was a king in Brentford,–of whom no legends tell, But who, without his glory,–could eat and sleep right well. His Polly’s cotton nightcap,–it was his crown of state, He slept of evenings early,–and rose of mornings late. All in a fine mud palace,–each day he took four meals, And for a guard […]

There was a king of Yvetot, Of whom renown hath little said, Who let all thoughts of glory go, And dawdled half his days a-bed; And every night, as night came round, By Jenny, with a nightcap crowned, Slept very sound: Sing ho, ho, ho! and he, he, he! That’s the kind of king for […]

A Credo

Story type: Poetry

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I. For the sole edification Of this decent congregation, Goodly people, by your grant I will sing a holy chant– I will sing a holy chant. If the ditty sound but oddly, ‘Twas a father, wise and godly, Sang it so long ago– Then sing as Martin Luther sang, As Doctor Martin Luther sang: “Who […]

Le Roi D’yvetot

Story type: Poetry

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Il etait un roi d’Yvetot, Peu connu dans l’histoire; Se levant tard, se couchant tot, Dormant fort bien sans gloire, Et couronne par Jeanneton D’un simple bonnet de coton, Dit-on. Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! Quel bon petit roi c’etait la! La, la. Il fesait ses quatre repas Dans son palais de […]

FROM UHLAND. “Da liegen sie alle, die grauen Hohen.” The cold gray hills they bind me around, The darksome valleys lie sleeping below, But the winds as they pass o’er all this ground, Bring me never a sound of woe! Oh! for all I have suffered and striven, Care has embittered my cup and my […]

LA MOTTE FOUQUE. “Und Du gingst einst, die Myrt’ im Haare.” And thou wert once a maiden fair, A blushing virgin warm and young: With myrtles wreathed in golden hair, And glossy brow that knew no care– Upon a bridegroom’s arm you hung. The golden locks are silvered now, The blushing cheek is pale and […]

Come to the greenwood tree, Come where the dark woods be, Dearest, O come with me! Let us rove–O my love–O my love! Come–’tis the moonlight hour, Dew is on leaf and flower, Come to the linden bower,– Let us rove–O my love–O my love! Dark is the wood, and wide Dangers, they say, betide; […]

A Tragic Story

Story type: Poetry

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BY ADELBERT VON CHAMISSO. “–‘s war Einer, dem’s zu Herzen gieng.” There lived a sage in days of yore And he a handsome pigtail wore; But wondered much and sorrowed more Because it hung behind him. He mused upon this curious case, And swore he’d change the pigtail’s place, And have it hanging at his […]

The Minaret Bells

Story type: Poetry

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Tink-a-tink, tink-a-tink, By the light of the star, On the blue river’s brink, I heard a guitar. I heard a guitar, On the blue waters clear, And knew by its music, That Selim was near! Tink-a-tink, tink-a-tink, How the soft music swells, And I hear the soft clink Of the minaret bells!

Serenade

Story type: Poetry

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Now the toils of day are over, And the sun hath sunk to rest, Seeking, like a fiery lover, The bosom of the blushing west– The faithful night keeps watch and ward, Raising the moon her silver shield, And summoning the stars to guard The slumbers of my fair Mathilde! The faithful night! Now all […]

My Nora

Story type: Poetry

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Beneath the gold acacia buds My gentle Nora sits and broods, Far, far away in Boston woods My gentle Nora! I see the tear-drop in her e’e, Her bosom’s heaving tenderly; I know–I know she thinks of me, My Darling Nora! And where am I? My love, whilst thou Sitt’st sad beneath the acacia bough, […]

The Merry Bard

Story type: Poetry

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ZULEIKAH! The young Agas in the bazaar are slim-wasted and wear yellow slippers. I am old and hideous. One of my eyes is out, and the hairs of my beard are mostly gray. Praise be to Allah! I am a merry bard. There is a bird upon the terrace of the Emir’s chief wife. Praise […]

The Caique

Story type: Poetry

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Yonder to the kiosk, beside the creek, Paddle the swift caique. Thou brawny oarsman with the sunburnt cheek, Quick! for it soothes my heart to hear the Bulbul speak. Ferry me quickly to the Asian shores, Swift bending to your oars. Beneath the melancholy sycamores, Hark! what a ravishing note the lovelorn Bulbul pours. Behold, […]

I was a timid little antelope; My home was in the rocks, the lonely rocks. I saw the hunters scouring on the plain; I lived among the rocks, the lonely rocks. I was a-thirsty in the summer-heat; I ventured to the tents beneath the rocks. Zuleikah brought me water from the well; Since then I […]

From Pocahontas

Story type: Poetry

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Returning from the cruel fight How pale and faint appears my knight! He sees me anxious at his side; “Why seek, my love, your wounds to hide? Or deem your English girl afraid To emulate the Indian maid?” Be mine my husband’s grief to cheer In peril to be ever near; Whate’er of ill or […]

THE MAYFAIR LOVE-SONG. Winter and summer, night and morn, I languish at this table dark; My office window has a corn- er looks into St. James’s Park. I hear the foot-guards’ bugle-horn, Their tramp upon parade I mark; I am a gentleman forlorn, I am a Foreign-Office Clerk. My toils, my pleasures, every one, I […]

Pocahontas

Story type: Poetry

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Wearied arm and broken sword Wage in vain the desperate fight: Round him press a countless horde, He is but a single knight. Hark! a cry of triumph shrill Through the wilderness resounds, As, with twenty bleeding wounds, Sinks the warrior, fighting still. Now they heap the fatal pyre, And the torch of death they […]

Fairy Days

Story type: Poetry

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Beside the old hall-fire–upon my nurse’s knee, Of happy fairy days–what tales were told to me! I thought the world was once–all peopled with princesses, And my heart would beat to hear–their loves and their distresses: And many a quiet night,–in slumber sweet and deep, The pretty fairy people–would visit me in sleep. I saw […]

A humble flower long time I pined Upon the solitary plain, And trembled at the angry wind, And shrunk before the bitter rain. And oh! ’twas in a blessed hour A passing wanderer chanced to see, And, pitying the lonely flower, To stoop and gather me. I fear no more the tempest rude, On dreary […]

Ah! bleak and barren was the moor, Ah! loud and piercing was the storm, The cottage roof was shelter’d sure, The cottage hearth was bright and warm– An orphan-boy the lattice pass’d, And, as he mark’d its cheerful glow, Felt doubly keen the midnight blast, And doubly cold the fallen snow. They marked him as […]

The Last Of May

Story type: Poetry

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(IN REPLY TO AN INVITATION DATED ON THE 1ST.) By fate’s benevolent award, Should I survive the day, I’ll drink a bumper with my lord Upon the last of May. That I may reach that happy time The kindly gods I pray, For are not ducks and pease in prime Upon the last of May? […]

A Doe In The City

Story type: Poetry

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Little KITTY LORIMER, Fair, and young, and witty, What has brought your ladyship Rambling to the City? All the Stags in Capel Court Saw her lightly trip it; All the lads of Stock Exchange Twigg’d her muff and tippet. With a sweet perplexity, And a mystery pretty, Threading through Threadneedle Street, Trots the little KITTY. […]

WERTHER had a love for Charlotte Such as words could never utter; Would you know how first he met her? She was cutting bread and butter. Charlotte was a married lady, And a moral man was Werther, And, for all the wealth of Indies, Would do nothing for to hurt her. So he sighed and […]

The Age Of Wisdom

Story type: Poetry

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Ho, pretty page, with the dimpled chin, That never has known the Barber’s shear, All your wish is woman to win, This is the way that boys begin,– Wait till you come to Forty Year. Curly gold locks cover foolish brains, Billing and cooing is all your cheer; Sighing and singing of midnight strains, Under […]

Although I enter not, Yet round about the spot Ofttimes I hover: And near the sacred gate, With longing eyes I wait, Expectant of her. The Minster bell tolls out Above the city’s rout, And noise and humming: They’ve hush’d the Minster bell: The organ ‘gins to swell: She’s coming, she’s coming! My lady comes […]

The rose upon my balcony the morning air perfuming, Was leafless all the winter time and pining for the spring; You ask me why her breath is sweet, and why her cheek is blooming, It is because the sun is out and birds begin to sing. The nightingale, whose melody is through the greenwood ringing, […]

“Quand vous serez bien vielle, le soir a la chandelle Assise aupres du feu devisant et filant, Direz, chantant mes vers en vous esmerveillant, Ronsard m’a celebre du temps que j’etois belle.” Some winter night, shut snugly in Beside the fagot in the hall, I think I see you sit and spin, Surrounded by your […]

LINES WRITTEN TO AN ALBUM PRINT. As on this pictured page I look, This pretty tale of line and hook As though it were a novel-book Amuses and engages: I know them both, the boy and girl; She is the daughter of the Earl, The lad (that has his hair in curl) My lord the […]

In tattered old slippers that toast at the bars, And a ragged old jacket perfumed with cigars, Away from the world and its toils and its cares, I’ve a snug little kingdom up four pair of stairs. To mount to this realm is a toil, to be sure, But the fire there is bright and […]

Lucy’s Birthday

Story type: Poetry

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Seventeen rosebuds in a ring, Thick with sister flowers beset, In a fragrant coronet, Lucy’s servants this day bring. Be it the birthday wreath she wears Fresh and fair, and symbolling The young number of her years, The sweet blushes of her spring. Types of youth and love and hope! Friendly hearts your mistress greet, […]

“I am Miss Catherine’s book,” the album speaks; “I’ve lain among your tomes these many weeks; I’m tired of their old coats and yellow cheeks. “Quick, Pen! and write a line with a good grace: Come! draw me off a funny little face; And, prithee, send me back to Chesham Place.” PEN. “I am my […]

WRITTEN IN A LADY’S ALBUM. “Coming from a gloomy court, Place of Israelite resort, This old lamp I’ve brought with me. Madam, on its panes you’ll see The initials K and E.” “An old lantern brought to me? Ugly, dingy, battered, black!” (Here a lady I suppose Turning up a pretty nose)– “Pray, sir, take […]

A street there is in Paris famous, For which no rhyme our language yields, Rue Neuve des Petits Champs its name is– The New Street of the Little Fields. And here’s an inn, not rich and splendid, But still in comfortable case; The which in youth I oft attended, To eat a bowl of Bouillabaisse. […]

Special Jurymen of England! who admire your country’s laws, And proclaim a British Jury worthy of the realm’s applause; Gayly compliment each other at the issue of a cause Which was tried at Guildford ‘sizes, this day week as ever was. Unto that august tribunal comes a gentleman in grief, (Special was the British Jury, […]

“A surgeon of the United States’ army says that on inquiring of the Captain of his company, he found that NINE-TENTHS of the men had enlisted on account of some female difficulty.”–Morning Paper. Ye Yankee Volunteers! It makes my bosom bleed When I your story read, Though oft ’tis told one. So–in both hemispheres The […]

Peg Of Limavaddy

Story type: Poetry

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Riding from Coleraine (Famed for lovely Kitty), Came a Cockney bound Unto Derry city; Weary was his soul, Shivering and sad, he Bumped along the road Leads to Limavaddy. Mountains stretch’d around, Gloomy was their tinting, And the horse’s hoofs Made a dismal clinting; Wind upon the heath Howling was and piping, On the heath […]

May-Day Ode

Story type: Poetry

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But yesterday a naked sod The dandies sneered from Rotten Row, And cantered o’er it to and fro: And see ’tis done! As though ’twere by a wizard’s rod A blazing arch of lucid glass Leaps like a fountain from the grass To meet the sun! A quiet green but few days since, With cattle […]

The White Squall

Story type: Poetry

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On deck, beneath the awning, I dozing lay and yawning; It was the gray of dawning, Ere yet the sun arose; And above the funnel’s roaring, And the fitful wind’s deploring, I heard the cabin snoring With universal nose. I could hear the passengers snorting– I envied their disporting– Vainly I was courting The pleasure […]

PART I. At Paris, hard by the Maine barriers, Whoever will choose to repair, Midst a dozen of wooden-legged warriors May haply fall in with old Pierre. On the sunshiny bench of a tavern He sits and he prates of old wars, And moistens his pipe of tobacco With a drink that is named after […]

No more, thou lithe and long-winged hawk, of desert-life for thee; No more across the sultry sands shalt thou go swooping free: Blunt idle talons, idle beak, with spurning of thy chain, Shatter against thy cage the wing thou ne’er may’st spread again. Long, sitting by their watchfires, shall the Kabyles tell the tale Of […]

The noble King of Brentford Was old and very sick, He summon’d his physicians To wait upon him quick; They stepp’d into their coaches And brought their best physick. They cramm’d their gracious master With potion and with pill; They drench’d him and they bled him; They could not cure his ill. “Go fetch,” says […]

Author: Charles Dickens and William Makepeace Thackeray Warning to the Public CONCERNING THE LOVING BALLAD OF LORD BATEMAN. In some collection of old English Ballads there is an ancient ditty which I am told bears some remote and distant resemblance to the following Epic Poem. I beg to quote the emphatic language of my estimable […]

We, who can recall the consulship of Plancus, and quite respectable, old-fogyfied times, remember amongst other amusements which we had as children the pictures at which we were permitted to look. There was Boydell’s Shakspeare, black and ghastly gallery of murky Opies, glum Northcotes, straddling Fuselis! there were Lear, Oberon, Hamlet, with starting muscles, rolling […]

I.–FROM RICHMOND IN SURREY TO BRUSSELS IN BELGIUM . . . I quitted the “Rose Cottage Hotel” at Richmond, one of the comfortablest, quietest, cheapest, neatest little inns in England, and a thousand times preferable, in my opinion, to the “Star and Garter,” whither, if you go alone, a sneering waiter, with his hair curled, […]

I. Mr. and Mrs. Fitzroy Timmins live in Lilliput Street, that neat little street which runs at right angles with the Park and Brobdingnag Gardens. It is a very genteel neighborhood, and I need not say they are of a good family. Especially Mrs. Timmins, as her mamma is always telling Mr. T. They are […]

George Cruikshank

Story type: Literature

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Accusations of ingratitude, and just accusations no doubt, are made against every inhabitant of this wicked world, and the fact is, that a man who is ceaselessly engaged in its trouble and turmoil, borne hither and thither upon the fierce waves of the crowd, bustling, shifting, struggling to keep himself somewhat above water–fighting for reputation, […]

THE DOCTOR AND HIS STAFF. There is no need to say why I became assistant-master and professor of the English and French languages, flower-painting, and the German flute, in Doctor Birch’s Academy, at Rodwell Regis. Good folks may depend on this, that it was not for CHOICE that I left lodgings near London, and a […]

Our Street

Story type: Literature

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Our street, from the little nook which I occupy in it, and whence I and a fellow-lodger and friend of mine cynically observe it, presents a strange motley scene. We are in a state of transition. We are not as yet in the town, and we have left the country, where we were when I […]

Mrs. Perkins’s Ball

Story type: Literature

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THE MULLIGAN (OF BALLYMULLIGAN), AND HOW WE WENT TO MRS. PERKINS’S BALL. I do not know where Ballymulligan is, and never knew anybody who did. Once I asked the Mulligan the question, when that chieftain assumed a look of dignity so ferocious, and spoke of “Saxon curiawsitee” in a tone of such evident displeasure, that, […]

The play is done; the curtain drops, Slow falling to the prompter’s bell; A moment yet the actor stops And looks around to say farewell. It is an irksome word and task; And, when he’s laughed and said his say, He shows, as he removes the mask, A face that’s anything but gay. One word […]

The Mahogany-tree

Story type: Poetry

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Christmas is here: Winds whistle shrill, Icy and chill, Little care we: Little we fear Weather without Sheltered about The Mahogany-Tree. Once on the boughs Birds of rare plume Sang, in its bloom; Night-birds are we: Here we carouse, Singing like them, Perched round the stem Of the jolly old tree. Here let us sport, […]

The Notch on the Ax

Story type: Literature

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I Every one remembers in the Fourth Book of the immortal poem of your Blind Bard (to whose sightless orbs no doubt Glorious Shapes were apparent, and Visions Celestial), how Adam discourses to Eve of the Bright Visitors who hovered round their Eden– ‘Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth, Unseen, both when we wake […]

On Being Found Out

Story type: Literature

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At the close (let us say) of Queen Anne’s reign, when I was a boy at a private and preparatory school for young gentlemen, I remember the wiseacre of a master ordering us all, one night, to march into a little garden at the back of the house, and thence to proceed one by one […]

BY MR. M. A. TITMARSH PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION: BEING AN ESSAY ON THUNDER AND SMALL BEER. Any reader who may have a fancy to purchase a copy of this present edition of the “History of the Kickleburys Abroad,” had best be warned in time, that the Times newspaper does not approve of the […]

DRAMATIS PERSONAE. MR. HORACE MILLIKEN, a Widower, a wealthy City Merchant. GEORGE MILLIKEN, a Child, his Son. CAPTAIN TOUCHIT, his Friend. CLARENCE KICKLEBURY, brother to Milliken’s late Wife. JOHN HOWELL, M’s Butler and confidential Servant. CHARLES PAGE, Foot-boy. BULKELEY, Lady Kicklebury’s Servant. MR. BONNINGTON. Coachman, Cabman; a Bluecoat Boy, another Boy (Mrs. Prior’s Sons). LADY […]

I.–ON THE DISINTERMENT OF NAPOLEON AT ST. HELENA. MY DEAR —-,–It is no en the Voyage from St. Helena asy task in this world to distinguish between what is great in it, and what is mean; and many and many is the puzzle that I have had in reading History (or the works of fiction […]

The Fatal Boots

Story type: Literature

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JANUARY.–THE BIRTH OF THE YEAR. Some poet has observed, that if any man would write down what has really happened to him in this mortal life, he would be sure to make a good book, though he never had met with a single adventure from his birth to his burial. How much more, then, must […]

OF THE LOVES OF MR. PERKINS AND MISS GORGON, AND OF THE TWO GREAT FACTIONS IN THE TOWN OF OLDBOROUGH. “My dear John,” cried Lucy, with a very wise look indeed, “it must and shall be so. As for Doughty Street, with our means, a house is out of the question. We must keep three […]

A NEW PALLICE COURT CHANT. One sees in Viteall Yard,Vere pleacemen do resort.A wenerable hinstitute,‘Tis called the Pallis CourtA gent as got his i on it,I think will make some sport The natur of this CourtMy hindignation riles:A few fat legal spidersHere set & spin their viles;To rob the town theyr privlege is,In a hayrea […]

An igstrawnary tail I vill tell you this veek–I stood in the Court of A’Beckett the Beak,Vere Mrs. Jane Roney, a vidow, I see,Who charged Mary Brown with a robbin’ of she. This Mary was pore and in misery once,And she came to Mrs. Roney it’s more than twelve monceShe adn’t got no bed, nor […]

Galliant gents and lovely ladies,List a tail vich late befel,Vich I heard it, bein on duty,At the Pleace Hoffice, Clerkenwell. Praps you know the Fondling Chapel,Vere the little children sings:(Lord I likes to hear on SundiesThem there pooty little things!) In this street there lived a housemaid,If you particklarly ask me where–Vy, it was at […]

[Footnote: The Birth of Prince Arthur]BY A GENTLEMAN OF THE FOOT-GUARDS (BLUE).W. MAKEPEACE THACKERAY. I paced upon my beatWith steady step and slow,All huppandownd of Ranelagh-street;Ran’lagh, St. Pimlico. While marching huppandowndUpon that fair May morn,Beold the booming cannings sound,A royal child is born! The Ministers of StateThen presnly I sor,They gallops to the Pallis gate,In […]

Come, all ye Christian people, and listen to my tail,It is all about a Doctor was traveling by the rail,By the Heastern Counties Railway (vich the shares don’t desire),From Ixworth town in Suffolk, vich his name did not transpire. A traveling from Bury this Doctor was employedWith a gentleman, a friend of his, vich his […]

With ganial foireThransfuse me loyre,Ye sacred nymphths of Pindus,The whoile I singThat wondthrous thingThe Palace made o’ windows! Say, Paxton, truth,Thou wondthrous youth,What sthroke of art celistialWhat power was lintYou to invintThis combineetion cristial O would beforeThat Thomas MooreLikewoise the late Lord Boyron,Thim aigles sthrongOf Godlike song,Cast oi on that cast oiron! And saw thim […]

The Speculators

Story type: Poetry

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The night was stormy and dark, The town was shut up in sleep: Only those were abroad who were out on a lark, Or those who’d no beds to keep. I pass’d through the lonely street, The wind did sing and blow; I could hear the policeman’s feet Clapping to and fro. There stood a […]