11 Works of Joseph Crosby Lincoln
Two Pairs Of Shoes
I don’t exactly know why Cap’n Jonadab and me went to the post- office that night; we wa’n’t expecting any mail, that’s sartin. I guess likely we done it for the reason the feller that tumbled overboard went to the bottom–’twas the handiest place TO go.
Anyway we was there, and I was [...]
The way we got into the hotel business in the first place come around like this: Me and Cap’n Jonadab went down to Wellmouth Port one day ‘long in March to look at some property he’d had left him. Jonadab’s Aunt Sophrony had moved kind of sudden from that village to Beulah Land–they’re a good [...]
“But,” says Cap’n Jonadab and me together, jest as if we was “reading in concert” same as the youngsters do in school, “but,” we says, “will it work? Will anybody pay for it?”
“Work?” says Peter T., with his fingers in the arm-holes of the double-breasted danger-signal that he called a vest, and with his cigar [...]
It commenced the day after we took old man Stumpton out codfishing. Me and Cap’n Jonadab both told Peter T. Brown that cod wa’n’t biting much at that season, but he said cod be jiggered.
“What’s troubling me just now is landing suckers,” he says.
So the four of us got into the Patience M.–she’s Jonadab’s catboat–and [...]
Them Todds had got on my nerves. ‘Twas Peter’s ad that brought ‘em down. You see, ’twas ‘long toward the end of the season at the Old Home, and Brown had been advertising in the New York and Boston papers to “bag the leftovers,” as he called it. Besides the reg’lar hogwash about the “breath [...]
One nice moonlight evening me and Cap’n Jonadab and Peter T., having, for a wonder, a little time to ourselves and free from boarders, was setting on the starboard end of the piazza, smoking, when who should heave in sight but Cap’n Eri Hedge and Obed Nickerson. They’d come over from Orham that day on [...]
Obed’s yarn being done, and friend Davidson done too, and brown at that, Peter T. passed around another relay of cigars and we lit up. ‘Twas Cap’n Eri that spoke first.
“Love’s a queer disease, anyway,” says he. “Ain’t it, now? ‘Twould puzzle you and me to figger out what that Saunders girl see to like [...]
Cap’n Jonadab said that the South Seas and them islands was full of queer happenings, anyhow. Said that Eri’s yarn reminded him of one that Jule Sparrow used to tell. There was a Cockney in that yarn, too, and a South Sea woman and a schooner. But in other respects the stories was different.
“You all [...]
We’ve all got a crazy streak in us somewheres, I cal’late, only the streaks don’t all break out in the same place, which is a mercy, when you come to think of it. One feller starts tooting a fish horn and making announcements that he’s the Angel Gabriel. Another poor sufferer shows his first symptom [...]
I never could quite understand why the folks at Wellmouth made me selectman. I s’pose likely ’twas on account of Jonadab and me and Peter Brown making such a go of the Old Home House and turning Wellmouth Port from a sand fleas’ paradise into a hospital where city folks could have their bank accounts [...]
‘Twas Peter T. Brown that suggested it, you might know. And, as likewise you might know, ’twas Cap’n Jonadab that done the most of the growling.
“They ain’t no sense in it, Peter,” says he. “Education’s all right in its place, but ’tain’t no good out of it. Why, one of my last voyages in the [...]