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213 Works of A. A. Milne

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We were having breakfast in the garden with the wasps, and Peter was enlarging on the beauties of the country round his new week-end cottage. “Then there’s Hilderton,” he said; “that’s a lovely little village, I’m told. We might explore it to-morrow.” Celia woke up suddenly. “Is Hilderton near here?” she asked in surprise. “But […]

The Same Old Story

Story type: Literature

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We stood in a circle round the parrot’s cage and gazed with interest at its occupant. She (Evangeline) was balancing easily on one leg, while with the other leg and her beak she tried to peel a monkey-nut. There are some of us who hate to be watched at meals, particularly when dealing with the […]

The Landscape Gardener

Story type: Literature

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Really I know nothing about flowers. By a bit of luck, James, my gardener, whom I pay half a crown a week for combing the beds, knows nothing about them either; so my ignorance remains undiscovered. But in other people’s gardens I have to make something of an effort to keep up appearances. Without flattering […]

Public Opinion

Story type: Essay

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At the beginning of the last strike the papers announced that Public Opinion was firmly opposed to dictation by a minority. Towards the end of the strike the papers said that Public Opinion was strongly in favour of a settlement which would leave neither side with a sense of defeat. I do not complain of […]

The Parting Guest

Story type: Literature

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When nice people ask me to their houses for the week-end, I reply that I shall be delighted to come, but that pressure of work will prevent my staying beyond Tuesday. Sometimes, in spite of this, they try to kick me out on the Monday; and if I find that they are serious about it […]

A Didactic Novel

Story type: Literature

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THE MYSTERY OF GORDON SQUARE SYNOPSIS OF PREVIOUS CHAPTERS Roger Dangerfield, the famous barrister, is passing through Gordon Square one December night when he suddenly comes across the dead body of a man of about forty years. To his horror he recognises it to be that of his friend, Sir Eustace Butt, M.P., who has […]

Wedding Bells

Story type: Essay

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Champagne is often pleasant at lunch, it is always delightful at dinner, and it is an absolute necessity, if one is to talk freely about oneself afterwards, at a dance supper. But champagne for tea is horrible. Perhaps this is why a wedding always finds me melancholy next morning. “She has married the wrong man,” […]

[A collaboration by the Authors of “The Broken Halo” and “The Woman Thou Gavest Me.”] CHAPTER I. SUNDAY MORNING (MRS. BARCLAY begins) It was a beautiful Sunday morning. All nature browsed in solemn Sabbath stillness. The Little Grey Woman of the Night-Light was hurrying, somewhat late, to church. Down the white ribbon of road the […]

“Yes,” said my friend, Ray Raymond, as a grim smile crossed his typically English face, looking round the chambers which we shared together, though he never had occasion to practise, though I unfortunately had, “it is a very curious affair indeed.” “Tell us the whole facts, Ray,” urged Vera Vallance, the pretty fair-haired daughter of […]

The Seaside Novelette

Story type: Literature

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[MAY BE READ ON THE PIER] No. XCVIII–A SIMPLE ENGLISH GIRL CHAPTER I. PRIMROSE FARM Primrose Farm stood slumbering in the sunlight of an early summer morn. Save for the gentle breeze which played in the tops of the two tall elms all Nature seemed at rest. Chanticleer had ceased his song; the pigs were […]

A Billiard Lesson

Story type: Literature

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I was showing Celia a few fancy strokes on the billiard-table. The other members of the house-party were in the library, learning their parts for some approaching theatricals–that is to say, they were sitting round the fire and saying to each other, “This is a rotten play.” We had been offered the position of auditors […]

The Record Lie

Story type: Essay

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I have just seen it quoted again. Yes, it appears solemnly in print, even now, at the end of the greatest war in history. Si vis pacem, para bellum. And the writer goes on to say that the League of Nations is all very well, but unfortunately we are “not angels.” Dear, dear! Being separated […]

Peter Riley was one of those lucky people who take naturally to games. Actually he got his blue for cricket, rugger, and boxing, but his perfect eye and wrist made him a beautiful player of any game with a ball. Also he rode and shot well, and knew all about the inside of a car. […]

Uncle Edward

Story type: Literature

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Celia has more relations than would seem possible. I am gradually getting to know some them by sight and a few more by name, but I still make mistakes. The other day, for instance, she happened to say she was going to a concert with Uncle Godfrey. “Godfrey,” I said, “Godfrey. No, don’t tell me–I […]

State Lotteries

Story type: Essay

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The popular argument against the State Lottery is an assertion that it will encourage the gambling spirit. The popular argument in favour of the State Lottery is an assertion that it is hypocritical to say that it will encourage the gambling spirit, because the gambling spirit is already amongst us. Having listened to a good […]

On The Bat’s Back

Story type: Literature

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With the idea of brightening cricket, my friend Twyford has given me a new bat. I have always felt that, in my own case, it was the inadequacy of the weapon rather than of the man behind it which accounted for a certain monotony of low-scoring; with this new bat I hope to prove the […]

The Magnate

Story type: Literature

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It was in October, 19– that the word “Zinc” first began to be heard in financial circles. City men, pushing their dominoes regretfully away, and murmuring “Zinc” in apologetic tones, were back in their offices by three o’clock, forgetting in their haste to leave the usual twopence under the cup for the waitress. Clubmen, glancing […]

There has been some talk lately of the standardization of golf balls, but a more urgent reform is the standardization of Christmas presents. It is no good putting this matter off; let us take it in hand now, so that we shall be in time for next Christmas. My crusade is on behalf of those […]

The Statesman

Story type: Literature

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On a certain night in the middle of the season all London was gathered in Lady Marchpane’s drawing-room; all London, that is, which was worth knowing–a qualification which accounted for the absence of several million people who had never heard of Lady Marchpane. In one corner of the room an Ambassador, with a few ribbons […]

Mr. Trevor Pilkington, of the well-known firm of Trevor Pilkington, fixed his horn spectacles carefully upon his nose, took a pinch of snuff, sneezed twice, gave his papers a preliminary rustle, looked slowly round the crowded room, and began to read the will. Through forty years of will-reading his method of procedure had always been […]